To get started you will need at least an hour of focused, uninterrupted time. Put your phone in another room. Get a pen and three sheets of paper.
Before you begin, a few things we want to be honest with you about.
This isn't a one-shot solution. Corporations are spending billions to capture your attention. You are here, trying to gain some back. You didn't think an hour would solve it, did you?
Where we spend our attention is ultimately what this is all about. You can only live an intentional live if you control, to some extent, where your attention is going. StopStart is a set of tools to help you build that muscle. It is most useful to think of these exercises as your mental gym routine. That means its all about reps, not weight. Consistency will help you build up your muscle much more than a single amazingly difficult one-off.
Never before has the weight of industry been so focussed on controlling our attention. Only those who build resilient and self-directing brains, and invest in maintaining that skill, will be able to do what they really want. This is new and we want to keep learning, we will value your feedback and ideas going which you can share in the "feedback" section of the website.
Ready? Scroll down or press the button below to begin Exercise 1.
Attention is our main currency in life. Where we spend it is our life. This exercise is an honest audit of where yours is currently going.
Write STOP at the top of your page. Draw a line down the middle. On the left side, spend 10 minutes writing down things that happen on autopilot for you; habits, moods you fall into repeatedly, people or situations that drain you, things you reach for without really deciding to.
Look back at your list. Choose 2 or 3 that, if you stopped, would give you back the most energy.
For each one, complete this on the right side of the page:
Now we work out where you'd like your attention to go instead.
Split your page into 3 columns. In the left column, write down the most important categories of your life. Here are some examples to start from — add or replace with your own:
Family · Friends · Community · Faith · Health · Fitness · Career · Creative work · Partnership · Learning
Aim for 5 to 8 categories. Now rate each one out of 5 for how it's currently going. Be honest with yourself how you feel, nobody will read this.
Choose 2 categories you feel most drawn to working on. Follow the category you are most drawn to, not just the lowest score.
For each, write at the top of the remaining two columns: "I want to improve my [category]. I want to do this because..."
Write why it matters to you personally. Again you can throw this sheet away in a few minutes, nobody will read it.
Under each category, write down things you could be doing more of that you're currently not doing. Anything goes. From big to small. Try to think of things that, if you actually did them, you know would give you progress.
Review your Stop list and your Start list. You're going to choose one of each for the coming week. Just one. The first mile, if you'll pardon the repeated workout analogy.
Take your sheet, turn it landscape and fold it over like a book. Check if it can stand up like a card. In the left half at the top write STOP; in the right, you guessed in, write START. Complete the exercises below in each half. Then place your StopStart card somewhere you will see it each morning, and ideally throughout your day.
Choose one habit you wan to try to reduce this week. Think about when it's most likely to go wrong: what will be happening around you? What will you be feeling? Write down what makes you do or think this thing.
Now write what you will do differently this week. Try to be realistic, you want to show you have the upper hand, but our habits are strong. Even noticing for a week can be enough.
Write your plan out in full. If theres a daily check in even better, create a little tick box for each day of the week.
Review your Start list. Choose something you can do next week that makes you slightly uncomfortable. It should be something you would like to do but in a usual week you just wouldnt find the energy. But you should feel confident you can do it. You're looking for just one, specific, task to do some point this week.
Write it out. Write down when you plan to do it, sooner rather than later. Write down what you will do on Saturday if you still haven't done it.
Fold this sheet in half, write today's date on the outside, and put it somewhere you'll see it. We'll see you next week.
But as I warned you, this is a process not a quick fix.
I hope it's been useful to get some of your wishes about what you want to stop and start down on paper. Even writing it out once was a big step for me. This next week is where the trick is. Put these pages somewhere you will see them and then see how the intentions you just set work out.
I hope you're intrigued enough to continue looking into the method. I strongly suggest to live a week and come back to the next steps with some life in between.
LINK HERE
You may find you surprise yourself. I sadly didn't. Likely you'll disappoint yourself a little, as I did. But just the act of noticing and reflecting helped me start to see patterns of what I wanted to be doing, what I was doing, and connecting the two.
That's why I call this method stopstart. I started to realise that not only did I have habits I knew weren't helping me. The energy and time these habits cost me, meant I didnt do the things I really wanted to do. It took me a long time to connect the two, but once I did, the motivation of being clearer on the life I wanted to START living live was the biggest unblock to STOPping my doom-scroll loop.