← Back to Step One
The rest of the StopStart Method
You're back. Let's talk about that.
First things first: did you do everything perfectly last week? Of course you didn't. Nobody does. If you had, you wouldn't need this page — you'd be off living your best life, and we'd be very proud of you, and slightly annoyed.
Here's the thing about Step One. It gets you off the starting blocks. One stop, one start, a bit of paper on your desk. But anyone who's ever tried to get fit knows that showing up to the gym once is not a fitness plan. It's a promising beginning. What you need now is something closer to a schedule — a set of practices you can return to each week, that gradually get sharper and more useful the more you use them.
Think of Step Two as your ongoing workout programme. Step One was the induction. This is where you actually start training.
Below are four exercises. You don't have to do them all at once, or even in order. Pick the one that feels most relevant to where you are right now. Come back to the others when you're ready.
Coming soon
Exercise 01
Your Weekly Reflections
Most people review their week by accident — usually on Sunday night, lying in bed, with a vague sense that something went wrong. This exercise makes that review deliberate. Ten minutes, once a week, on paper.
What this exercise will cover
- A simple 3-question format to review your Stop and Start from the previous week — not to judge yourself, but to understand what actually happened
- The difference between "I failed" and "I learned something about when I fail" — and why only the second one is useful
- How to set next week's targets based on what this week taught you, rather than just repeating the same hope with more determination
- A prompt to notice one thing that went better than expected — because progress that goes unacknowledged doesn't compound
- The concept of a "minimum viable week" — what does success actually look like when life is chaotic, and how do you protect that floor?
This page is being written. Check back soon — or send us a note on the feedback page if you'd like to be notified when it's ready.
Coming soon
Exercise 02
An Exercise in Values
aka: More clarity on what to Start
One of the quiet problems with self-improvement is that most people are improving toward a version of themselves they haven't actually chosen. They're chasing goals that sound good, that other people seem to value, or that they picked up somewhere along the way without really examining them.
This exercise slows that down. It's less about what you want to do, and more about who you want to be — and whether the things on your Start list actually point in that direction.
What this exercise will cover
- A guided values clarification exercise — not a list of virtues to pick from, but a series of questions that surface what you actually care about when nobody's watching
- The difference between terminal values (what you want your life to be about) and instrumental values (how you want to go about it) — and why confusing the two is how people end up optimising for the wrong things
- A prompt to review your current Start list against your stated values — are they actually connected, or did you write down what seemed sensible?
- How to rewrite a vague Start goal ("spend more time on things that matter") into something anchored to a specific value ("call my brother — because being present for people I love is what I'm here for")
- A short exercise borrowed from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT): the eulogy exercise, done lightly and without the morbidity
This page is being written. In the meantime, the book that covers this territory most honestly is Gabriele Oettingen's Rethinking Positive Thinking — worth a read while you wait.
Coming soon
Exercise 03
Make Your Own StopStart Cheat Sheet
By now you've done at least one cycle of Stop and Start. You've learned something — probably something slightly uncomfortable — about where your attention goes and where you'd like it to go instead. This exercise helps you turn that into something you can keep.
The cheat sheet is your personal reference card. The version you make for yourself will always be more useful than anything we could hand you.
What this exercise will cover
- A template for your personal cheat sheet — one side Stop, one side Start, designed to sit on your desk or fold into your wallet
- How to distil your if-then plans into trigger phrases short enough to actually remember ("phone down, three breaths" beats a paragraph)
- Your personal "why" written in one sentence — the thing that reminds you why any of this is worth doing on the days when it feels pointless
- A section for your replacement actions: what you reach for instead of the habit, listed and ready so your brain doesn't have to decide in the moment
- How to update the cheat sheet as your habits change — this isn't a document you write once, it's a living reference that gets sharper over time
- The physical format: landscape, folded, standing up. The same StopStart card from Step One, but now built entirely from your own words
This page is being written. When it's live, it will include a printable template you can fill in by hand.
Coming soon
Exercise 04
Assessing Progress
At some point — maybe after a month, maybe after three — you'll want to step back and ask a bigger question than "did I do my Stop action this week?" You'll want to know if any of this is actually working.
This exercise is for that moment. It's not a report card. It's a calibration.
What this exercise will cover
- How to revisit the life category ratings from Step One and score them again — not to feel good or bad about the numbers, but to notice what's moved and what hasn't
- The difference between behaviour change (did I do the thing?) and identity change (am I becoming the person who does this naturally?) — and how to tell which one is happening
- A prompt to identify one habit that has quietly become automatic — something you used to have to decide to do that now just happens. That's what success looks like, and most people don't notice it.
- How to raise the stakes: what's the next level of the Stop or Start you've been working on, and are you ready to go there?
- When to restart from Step One — because sometimes the most useful thing you can do after a few months is go back to the beginning with fresh eyes
- A longer reflection on the question we asked at the start: who did you say you wanted to be? And are you moving toward that person?